You wake up one day and realize that you are in a relationship that has lasted what, 3-4 years and say to yourself I am ready to take the next step, I am ready to get married.
You have already discussed everything there is to discuss, money arrangements, careers, you even decided how many children you are going to have; and on top of that every time you are scrolling down your feed you come across pictures of your married friends indulging the married life.
But let me tell you something, whatever you see on social media, or in public about married couples is just the highlight of their lives. And while it can be so good there are many many thing people don’t tell you about marriage.
- Bye-bye Mr. Perfect.
When dating we tend to be on our best behavior, you get to show the greatest side of your personality and your goody two-shoes habits. But once you move in together you will get to see the not so perfect side of your partner.
Morning routines might include him trimming his beard over the sink or her leaving off the razor and hair straightener over it.
Nothing much you can do about it, but to adapt to someone else sharing your space.
- You need to pay the bills.
As soon as you step foot in that house of yours and turn on your lights, your electricity meter will start marking along with many other bills.
As your financial responsibilities rise many “you look good” conversations will end up about how and what to spend your money on.
No matter how big of struggle it might be sometimes, leave everyone out of it. Financial decisions are solely your couple’s responsibility.
- For better and for worse, not a joke.
You loved your partner ever since you started seeing each other, however their problems were not always yours.
When they had money problems they went for their father’s help, when they were sick it was mama who made tea and tucked them in.
Good or bad, you are in for it all.
- You will feel baby pressure.
Whether you decided to get pregnant right away or to indulge in the twosome life, the pressure of having children is real.
Might this pressure come from well-meaning grandparents, friends, noisy neighbors, stick to your baby plans and be happy with it because unless they will wake up at night over the crying baby’s screams or figure out school tuition, it is no one else’s business.
- You will crave some alone time.
When you were dating and your night ended you couldn’t wait to hook up again the next day.
Well guess what, now they will always be there. When you wake up, when you sleep when you go in and out of the shower, when you are reading your book or watching your favorite movie for the 50th time.
And there is nothing you can do about it but to learn to be alone together where each of you does their own thing.
- Pick your battles.
At the beginning phases of your marriage you want to build your ground, proof your points, put your foot down, mostly you want to always be right so you end up arguing about every little drive you nuts detail.
One argument after the other, you will figure out that you cannot always be right and have it your way, so you will choose to let the little things go and spare yourself some moments of peace.
- You can’t just leave.
Before marriage, when you would get into a fight and couldn’t take it anymore, you would disappear cool off and come back or sometimes not.
However now, no matter how outrageous was your fight, you have to deal with it by all means.
There will be no such thing as taking a time off. Solve your shit and move on.
- Your decisions will no longer affect just you.
Kiss goodbye to those gossip drunken nights at your bestie’s, that bar hopping night with the guys, spending 500$ on a pair of shoes or a car accessory.
You now have a permanent plus one on your list, if it doesn’t suit them as it suits you, reconsider your plans.
I know it all sounds so cynical, but actually it is not. Because in spite of all the realistic stuff you have to adapt to, you will know that your partner is your teammate, and because of them you won’t have to battle the world on your own anymore.